Aviation News Terminal: February 2008

Dreamliner's fuselage passes structural tests

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/boeingaerospace/2004249879_boeing29.html

Labels: Aircraft

FAA probes FedEx near-miss

http://www.commercialappeal.com/news/2008/feb/28/faa-probes-fedex-near-miss/

Labels: ATC

Frequency fun

Tower: 'TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.'

TWA 2341: 'Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?'

Tower: 'Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?'

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: 'I'm f...ing bored!'

Ground Traffic Control: 'Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!'

Unknown aircraft: 'I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!'

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked:

'What was your last known position?'

Student: 'When I was number one for takeoff.'

Tower:

'Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7'

Eastern 702:

'Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.'

Tower:

'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?'

Continental 635:

'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern...we've already notified our caterers.'

A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted:

'American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.'

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said:

'What a cute little plane.Did you make it all by yourself?'

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:

'I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one.'

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206:

' Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.'

Ground:

'Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.'

The 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground:

'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?'

Speedbird 206:

'Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.'

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience):

'Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?'

Speedbird 206 (coolly):

'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark-- and I didn't land.'

While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:

'US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!'

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:

'God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move til I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?'

'Yes, ma'am,' the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:

'Wasn't I married to you once?'

Labels: Communications

JAL may turn to Airbus after Boeing delay

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23291899/

Labels: Airlines

Backgrounder: Major air crashes in the world since 2007

http://english.people.com.cn/90001/90777/6359261.html

Labels: Accidents, Statistics

Airbus head sees Asian markets as fueling future growth

http://www.reliableplant.com/article.asp?pagetitle=Airbus%20head%20sees%20Asian%20markets%20as%20fueling%20future%20growth&articleid=10654

Labels: Airlines

Pilots safe in B-2 crash in Guam

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-02-22-b2-crash_N.htm?csp=34

Labels: Accident, Air Force

Airman dies as 2 fighter jets collide during training exercise over Gulf of Mexico

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/nation/20080221-0557-missingplanes.html

Labels: Accident, Air Force

3rd Runway to Appear in Sheremetyevo Airport

http://www.russia-ic.com/news/show/5816/

Labels: Airports

New internet links added to Aviation News Terminal

3 more links added to Aviation News Terminal: Safety Alerts Board, Plane Crash Info and Aviation Safety Network.

Labels: Links

Commission Regulation (EC) No 1330/2007 of 24 September 2007

http://eur-lex.europa.eu/JOHtml.do?uri=OJ:L:2007:295:SOM:EN:HTML

Labels: Legislation

Commission Regulation (EC) No 1321/2007 of 12 November 2007

http://eur-lex.europa.eu/JOHtml.do?uri=OJ:L:2007:294:SOM:EN:HTML

Labels: Legislation

Renewal for 3 years of Mr. Tsolakis term as Chairman of Greek AIB

The Greek Minister of Transport & Communications Mr. Kostis Chatzidakis signed the renewal for 3 years of the term of Mr. Tsolakis as Chairman of the Greek AIB (AAIASB). Mr. Tsolakis a former pilot for the Hellenic Air Force and the civil aviation recently received the highest award of the Flight Safety Foundation for the thorough investigation and the resulting multiple safety recommendations of the Helios accident in August 14, 2005.

http://www.naftemporiki.gr/news/static/08/02/21/1479227.htm
http://www.euro2day.gr/articles/143641/

Labels: Investigation